hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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