wat bout pragnant strippers??
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
