You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
