.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
