I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
