I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
