I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
