I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I have aggressive nipples.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
