could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Semen is not good for contacts.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
