there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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