I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize