Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
