I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
