I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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