butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
