Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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