i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
