dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
