Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
