Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
