so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
