my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
