piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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