I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
