it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
