so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
operation have a gay friend backfired
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
