So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Randomize
