so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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