Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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