You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
