can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
