I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
