I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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