idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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