I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
