Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
