You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Brb crying the tears of my youth
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
