He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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