If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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