After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
