That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You have to summon your inner elephant
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
