He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
