How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
