If i could tip my vagina, i would.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
