I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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