just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
