Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
