who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
are you so shy because you have an std?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
