Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
