Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
bring money and cleavage
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
