Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
